Petals in the Wind
by Blue Jeans
Summary: It was so beautiful... (An alternate ending to the R-movie told from the point of view of Sailor Moon herself while making a painful decision that went terribly wrong) One-shot vignette.


It was so beautiful.   
  
The spreading of the petals falling into a million pieces.   
  
A shower of brilliant stars fading into the dark.   
  
You still love me, ne?   
  
  
.Petals in the Wind.   
* * * * * * * * * *   
.blue.   
  
  
Her voice sounded like the shattering of a million souls.   
  
Stop.   
  
Please stop!   
  
It never seems to stop.   
  
This pain ripping through her chest like the piercings of a   
million needles, taking her life away. As the petals swayed and floated   
before her eyes. The streams of light that illuminated the darkness of   
black space. The thousands of hands reaching forward...   
  
Tell me why you're so angry with me.   
  
Why are you hurting me?   
  
Is this the pain you feel when you look to me?   
  
"This pain... do you think you feel the same pain of loneliness?   
Because you never felt this pain!" His whisper hotly into her ear.   
  
Loneliness?   
  
So much pain.   
  
Her body ached.   
  
'Sailor Moon, you're the princess...'   
  
'Min'na don't leave me...'   
  
'We must protect you!'   
  
Loneliness?   
  
In this darkness, in my pain... or is it yours? I'm so alone.   
  
I don't ever want to be alone.   
  
"Yes, I can't let a liar who will leave Mamoru-kun alone, alive!"   
  
Mamo-chan?   
  
Where are you Mamo-chan?   
  
I need your warmth.   
  
He was fading in my arms and I couldn't reach him in time.   
  
'A hero doesn't cry!'   
  
'Be strong! You can't save Mamo-chan like that!'   
  
Chibiusa, I remember my promise.   
  
Mamo-chan was fading in my arms...   
  
My arms so empty witout him...   
  
Mamo-chan hurt, for me...?   
  
Maybe--   
  
"What do you know? You never felt the pain of regretting to be   
alive!"   
  
Maybe--   
  
"You would never know the feeling of loneliness."   
  
Maybe--   
  
"You don't know the feeling of being a stranger to everyone."   
  
Maybe--   
  
"It's time to kill you off!"   
  
Maybe... I shouldn't exist anymore.   
  
Mamo-chan, my arms are so empty.   
  
Gomen ne, Chibiusa, I didn't mean to break my promise. I want to   
be strong for you, for everyone. But now I see, I never knew your pain.   
I've never lived your loneliness. This pain within my body. Why am I not   
crying?   
  
'A hero doesn't cry!'   
  
I want to cry. I want to wake up from this nightmare.   
  
"Die!"   
  
I want to stop existing--   
  
"Wait--"   
  
Mamo-chan, I've come to save you. Why is it that you always   
seemed to be the one saving me, instead? Am I not strong enough to keep   
you in my arms? Tell me that you forgive me.   
  
"Mamoru-kun left me..."   
  
My arms are so empty without you.   
  
I know your pain, Fiore. This need to hold onto love with your   
arms and wrap around their waists, his waist, and close my eyes from the   
loneliness. I know what it's like to lose him, and the joy of finding   
him again. I know what it's like to no longer want to exist, to fade into   
nothingness because it's not worth living without him.   
  
Min'na, gomen nasai.   
  
'I can't live without him!'   
  
Min'na, I want to keep my promise... But my arms are empty   
without him to hold. Don't leave me, Mamo-chan. Please, don't leave me   
in the dark. Our love was suppose to last forever, let it fill me,   
please.   
  
"Everyone will die here!"   
  
"That's right Fiore. Even if you die, I will kill off the humans."   
The beautiful flower said. Venom on her lips.   
  
I won't let them fade into nothingness, even if I must pay for it   
with my own life. Even if I fade.   
  
"I won't let that happen!"   
  
My chest is so warm. I remember your love, and your trust and   
your friendships. I remember your sacrifices for me, a life for a life.   
I won't let you down this time.   
  
'Ganbatte ne!'   
  
Chibiusa, I'm a hero now. I won't cry anymore.   
  
"No!"   
  
Minako-chan, I want you to be the superstar you always dreamed of.   
The person inside you that glows from within, I can see that gold within   
your heart. Do you still believe in the miracles of this moment?   
  
"Don't use the ginzuishou!"   
  
Rei-chan, who tries so hard to protect me from harm in the end.   
You helped me, pushed me, and loved me. You believed me even when I stop   
believing in myself, telling me of the courage I don't think I had till   
you refuse to back down till I acknowledged it. Why do you love me so   
much?   
  
"If you use the ginzuishou, it will kill you!"   
  
Mako-chan, I love your cakes and deserts, but I love you more.   
You're the big sister I've never had, always protecting me, listening to   
me, lifting me up when I fall. You're always there by my side, I hope I'm   
worth all of your pains.   
  
"Don't use it."   
  
Ami-chan, thank you for helping me with all my math questions,   
even when I fall asleep during your study sessions. Onegai, promise me   
you'll become the wonderful doctor I see within your soul, the healer that   
healed me from my worst of battles.   
  
"Please, don't use it."   
  
Mamo-chan? My arms are here for you. You alone and no one else.   
A haven from the storm if I could block it with my body. Tell me, it's   
all that you'll ever need and all that you'll ever wanted. I can't tell   
you how much I love you, there are no words to describe this love that   
burns within me, making me strong. Will you always be by my side?   
  
"I must use the ginzuishou or no one here will be safe. Don't   
worry, min'na. I won't die. We'll all go back to Earth together, ne?"   
  
I won't let any of you dissolve in my arms anymore. I refuse to   
let it end here, when life is still happy and dreams are just beginning.   
Please, believe in me...   
  
"Are you trying to change the course of this asteroid? I won't   
allow that! You're going to die with me!"   
  
His hand pushed into my chest, over the crystal. Covering the   
light, my light, my love.   
  
The pain!   
  
His pain, radiating within me. Why are you so scared? Why do you   
hurt so much? Let me help you.   
  
"What are you scared of. It's going to be all right. You're not   
alone."   
  
His face so angry, and his heart so bitter.   
  
"That's a lie! You're just acting to be nice to me to save   
yourself!"   
  
Let me heal your pain...   
  
'Who are you?'   
  
'Don't cry.'   
  
'My friend is going away soon and I have nothing to give to him.'   
  
'Today, I'm a big sister. Mama had a baby. Here!   
Congratulations!'   
  
'Arigato.'   
  
"Sailor Moon gave Mamoru-kun a flower. That flower... came from   
Sailor Moon..."   
  
His hand descended from her chest, the flower of a million petals.   
  
I know your pain, Fiore. I felt your loneliness. Sumimasen,   
forgive me.   
  
"Usagi-chan!"   
  
"Usagi-chan..."   
  
"Usagi!"   
  
"Usagi-chan!"   
  
"Usako."   
  
I won't let you feel that pain anymore!   
  
"I'll protect everyone! Onegai, ginzuishou, let me have more   
power! Power to save everyone! Power to ensure everyone's happiness!"   
  
So they do not fade into nothingness within my arms.   
  
So I can protect them.   
  
So my arms can be their haven and my heart can be their shelter   
from the pain.   
  
Let me heal their pain!   
  
Everyone's lending me their powers! Everyone, I feel you within   
my palms, within my heart! I feel your love and your trust and your   
loyalty. Min'na!   
  
"Moon Crystal Power!"   
  
I promised you, Chibiusa-chan, that I'd bring Mamo-chan back home   
with me. I'll keep it, because you all believed in me, min'na.   
  
Arigato.   
  
His hand on my shoulder.   
  
His breath next to mine.   
  
"Mamo-chan?"   
  
His eyes, his strength, his love...   
  
My arms are no longer empty.   
  
I'm so happy.   
  
So much power... too much...   
  
Pound.   
  
Mamo-chan.   
  
Pound.   
  
I'm no longer alone.   
  
I must bear the pain, I must!   
  
Don't fail me now, ginzuishou! Grant me my wish!   
  
The flower opened her petals and the wind scattered it into a   
million drifting pieces of beauty.   
  
Shattering into a kalediscope of facets.   
  
'Mamo-chan, didn't you know that I can't live without you?'   
  
'Usako?'   
  
'It's true, because you're not just the other half of my soul, you   
more than complete me, Mamo-chan. You are me. And when you're in my   
arms, I'm no longer empty.'   
  
'Usako...'   
  
'Don't cry Mamo-chan, heroes don't cry. That's what Chibiusa told   
me. She's right, you know? Heroes have nothing to cry about because we   
have what's most important in our lives.'   
  
'And what's that, Usako?'   
  
'Hm? Don't you know, Mamo-chan? We have each other. That's all   
we need, ne?'   
  
***   
  
He bent down to kiss her lips. Kiss the flower of life.   
  
'That's right, I'm your family now, Mamo-chan. And from now   
on, I'll always be here for you.'   
  
She didn't wake.   
  
The flower petals lay opened to the wind, never retrieved.   
  
'Don't worry, min'na. I won't die. We'll get back to Earth   
together, ne?'   
  
'Usako...'   
  
'I have found the most important thing in my life, Mamo-chan, and   
that's you.'   
  
'No one will ever dissolve within my arms again!'   
  
'Usagi-chan, we wish to bring you happiness, not loneliness.   
That's what friends are for, ne?'   
  
'I'll save all of you, because I love you.'   
  
'It's our duty to protect the princess, but we'd do it anyway   
Usagi, because we love you.'   
  
'Yes, there's loneliness, I see that now min'na. I knew it long   
ago, but I had forgotten the pain because Mamo-chan made it so easy for me   
to forget. Now, I promise you all, that while there's a dream of   
happiness, life will go on. Promise me min'na that you will be happy.'   
  
Why did you have to dissolve into nothingness within my arms?   
  
Why did you break the most important promise of them all?   
  
A single rose changed so many lives, it's petals scattered into   
the darkness of the universe, it's scent, a memory, lost in the storm.   
  
'Bai bai, Mamo-chan! I'll be seeing you tomorrow!'   
  
And her giggles echoed into eternity.   
  
  
.The End.   
  
  
  
.blue.   
  
http://www.colorblue.f2s.com   
  
  
chibi-blue: *evil laughter* "MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   
You thought I was going to write a good   
Usa/Mamo fic, didn't you? Didn't you?!   
You're all WRONG!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"   
Usagi: *weeps* "Why do you hate me so much,   
blue-chan?"   
chibi-blue: ^_^v "My reasons are too long to list."   
Usagi: "WAHHHHHHHHHH!"   
chibi-blue: -_-;; "And that's one of them."   
Usagi: *sniffles* "You're so evil!"   
chibi-blue: ^_^v "And look! You're dead! So you   
can't 'heal' me! Ohhh, did your ginzuishou   
break? Oh, bad crystal, bad! It fell apart   
and all the kings horses and all the kings   
men, will never be able to put Usagi or   
her stupid back-to-life-everyone crystal   
together again! HAHAHA!"   
Luna: -_-;; "Blue-san's been procrastinating again?   
She needs to get back to work!"   
Artemis: "And I need more time on camera! Baka   
writer!"   
chibi-blue: "You two are such nags! That's why   
you're not on!" :p "I LOVE being an   
author! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"   
  
This story's ending is thanks to many hours of   
watching Utena. If you don't know what I'm   
talking about, that's okay :)   
  
For my Bev baby, who was the first to read this   
absolutely whacked out story.   
  
.blue.   
  
http://www.colorblue.f2s.com


End file.
